bananbrasse

Thug: Yo... You just pissed your pants.
Woman: You don't think I noticed?! [Continues own conversation nonchalantly.]

--1 train

Large thug #1: Yo, man, I cry!
Large thug #2: When you cry last?
Large thug #1: Like, two weeks ago.
Large thug #2: Oh, yeah? What you cry over?
Large thug #1:L There was a sad part of Desperate Housewives.

--54th & Broadway

Hustler for the homeless: Give 25 cents to end homelessness. Just 25 cents so America won't be homeless. Excuse me, sir, do you want to help?
Suit: Nope. I don't like America.
Hustler for the homeless: Well, have fun with your fucking Russian army, sir.

--Port Authority

Little girl: You keep asking me for money! Forty dollars in two days! And then you ask for more!
Mother, laughing nervously: Yeah...

--East-bound M66 bus

Texting guy: Hey, I tried to type 'nipple pasties,' and the phone knew the word 'pasties'!
Friend: ... Why are you texting 'nipple pasties'?

--Wyckoff & Stanhope, Brooklyn

JAP #1, after #2 took her picture: Ugh! Doesn't the camera add 50 pounds?!
JAP #2: No, I changed it so it wouldn't do that anymore.

--Metro-North